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Archive for the 'india' Category

Adoption: The Answers (iv)

Posted by sarah & rocksea on 06 Feb 2007 | Tagged as: adoption in india, india, life

Back in Hyderabad, I decided to take a share of what the adoption agency here has to tell me about the procedures. Quite interstingly, Andhra Pradesh (AP) is the only state that has banned any adoption through Voluntary Coordinating Agency (VCA) following a scam in 1999. The process has been in turn taken over by the Women Development and Child Welfare Development Centre.

At the VCA, I met the assistant director and two social workers. But more than meeting the staff there, what was more heartening was that I saw two parents who had come to take over their adopted kids. One was a baby of 3-5 months and the other was a girl child of 3 years.

In the previous articles, we dealt with some basic questions to be pondered and answered before we think of adoption. In this article, we lay out a step-wise procedure for a normal adoption, as told to me by the social worker I met.

1. Parents come to enquire about the adoption process.

Facts:
a. All adoption is based on first come- first serve basis.
b. A single male cannot adopt a child
c. A single female can adopt a male or female child. However, her parents should be supportive of her desicion. Her income should be atleast Rs 5000 per month and should own some property.

2. Once the parents let know if they want to adopt a male or female child, they are told what the waiting period is.

Facts:
a. In general, the waiting period for a male child is 3-4 years and a female child is 1.5 years. This is based on the availability of the children.
b. Many parents settle to adopt a female child in order to aviod long waiting periods for a male child.
c. Last year (2006), almost 85 female children and only 5-6 male children had been adopted.
d. Their claim is that almost 95% parents come asking for female child adoption.

3. The parents are given information about the adoption procedure and given a list of documents to be submitted to list them in the process for adoption.

4. After around 3 months of the document submission, the staff conduct a home visit to the applicant’s home.

Facts:
a. They make sure the home environment is fine.
b. They speak with family-members and neighbours to make sure that all are fine with the adoption process. Even if one person is not ready for it (parents, in-laws etc…), they can be termed as a home not advised for adoption.
c. Even the surroundings are checked for schools and basic amenities to help the healthy growth of the adopted child.

5. Once everything is fine with the home visit, the parents are listed for adoption and put under seniority process (i.e., first come- first serve).

6. When the child is available for the parents, a letter is sent out to the adopting parents.

Facts:
a. Only 2-3 children are shown to the parents for them to choose.
b. These children are selected carefully , to match the adopting parent’s face, features, complexion etc… This is to avoid any social problems that may arise later.
c. The children are already medically examined for fitness. However, if the parents will, they can conduct any further checkups on their own at their own expense. The child can be rejected if any medical problem is found and the parents will be given to have a second preference.
d. Children who are 5-6 years of age have a developed psychology, so their consent is taken before they are handed over.

7. After the parents are handed over the child, the legalisation process starts.

Facts:
a. They are shown to good lawyers who will file a case of adoption in the court.
b. The assistant director will go and testify the handling over of the child.
c. The orphanage has nothing to do with the religion of the parents who are adopting. Everything to do with the Christian Wards Act is dealt in the court as it is a legal matter.

8. At the Registeration office, the parents need to file the details of the child, for a certificate that will serve as a Birth Certificate in future.

Facts:
The parents can give a new Date of Birth for the child based on an approximate age determined by the orphanage. Usually the parents choose dates with favourable star signs, day, month, etc…

9. Subsequent followup visits are made to make sure everything is going fine.

Facts:
a. 5-6 year olds take a longer time to adapt, especially the boys. If they are given a lot of care and tenderness, they will adapt better to the new parents and environment.
b. Many kids are readily agreeable for adoption.

A peek over NRI adoption…
As stated before, after adoptions through VCA has been handed over to the  Women Development and Child Welfare Development centre in AP, a preference order has been laid down. It being:

  1. Indian Parents
  2. NRI Parents
  3. 1 Indian and 1 foreign parent
  4. Foreigners

Only children who have been continuosly rejected by the Indian parents residing in India will be put up for adoption by the others. They are very often children with disabilities. Right now there are 29 such children in AP for such adoption. Their names and details are in the internet.

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14 years of maun

Posted by rocksea on 06 Oct 2006 | Tagged as: india

 … why? What does he feel? Does he talk in sleep? Several questions popped up in my mind.. but I couldn’t ask him!

mauni baba

mauni baba on 14 years maun

maun ~ silence

September 2005, Kochi

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onam with nature

Posted by rocksea on 04 Sep 2006 | Tagged as: india, photography, prakriti

Our ettukaliyude onappookkalam.. a spider’s web design (!!) evoking memories of the long lost Onam days I used to celebrate at home in Kerala. Photograph taken while I was at home during last Onam. Species: argiope. juvenile. These orb weaver (Family: araniedae) spiders decorate their webs with stabilimenta. They usually rest in a head down position on the web. As one approaches the web, they hold their position until the last moment before slipping round in a flash to hide on the other side of the stabilimentum.

argiope_spider_onam_pookkalam_002 * oru ettukaliyude onappookkalam. spider web patterns @ home, kerala. argiope. juvenile. These orb weaver (Family: araniedae) spiders decorate their webs with stabilimenta. They usually rest in a head down position on the web. As one approaches the web, they hold their position until the last moment before slipping round in a flash to hide on the other side of the stabilimentum. species info: SpiderIndia & South Indian Spiders. * oru ettukaliyude onappookkalam. spider web patterns @ home, kerala. argiope. juvenile. These orb weaver (Family: araniedae) spiders decorate their webs with stabilimenta. They usually rest in a head down position on the web. As one approaches the web, they hold their position until the last moment before slipping round in a flash to hide on the other side of the stabilimentum. species info: SpiderIndia & South Indian Spiders. * 1024 x 766 * (97KB)

Onathumbi. Species: Rhyothemis variegata variegata (male). Normally they are seen in the month of August till December and hence called Onathumbi. Attractive colors and their presence tells you Onam is here!

onathumbi_004 * Onathumbi. Rhyothemis variegata variegata (male). Normally they are seen in the month of August till December. In kerala it is called as 'Onathumbi'. Onam is the harvest festival in August and Thumbi  means Dragonfly. @ home, kerala * Onathumbi. Rhyothemis variegata variegata (male). Normally they are seen in the month of August till December. In kerala it is called as 'Onathumbi'. Onam is the harvest festival in August and Thumbi  means Dragonfly. @ home, kerala * 1024 x 766 * (158KB)

Species: Rhyothemis variegata variegata (female)

onathumbi_002 * Onathumbi. Rhyothemis variegata variegata (female). Normally they are seen in the month of August till December. In kerala it is called as 'Onathumbi'. Onam is the harvest festival in August and Thumbi  means Dragonfly. @ home, kerala * Onathumbi. Rhyothemis variegata variegata (female). Normally they are seen in the month of August till December. In kerala it is called as 'Onathumbi'. Onam is the harvest festival in August and Thumbi  means Dragonfly. @ home, kerala * 1024 x 766 * (135KB)

adding to the nostalgia of Onam season.. onathumbis hovering over..

onathumbi_001 * onathumbikal. lots of Rhyothemis variegata variegata flying high during Onam season. @ home, kerala * onathumbikal. lots of Rhyothemis variegata variegata flying high during Onam season. @ home, kerala * 1024 x 766 * (256KB)

Onam / Thiru Onam: Festival of Kerala, celebrated in the Chingam (Aug-Sep), the first month of Malayalam Calendar. In memory of a mythical King MahaBali (Maveli) who ruled Kerala eons back. Legend is that Kerala reached the zenith of its glory under his rule and he was so famous that gods became jealous and send God Vishnu to send him down to the netherworld. Anyways, before sending him down, Vishnu gave King Maha Bali a boon to visit his people once in a year. This day we celebrate as Onam, to welcome Mahabali. One of the most attractive aspects of thiruvonam is the pookkalam or the floral designs we make.

Sarah, celebrate this onam at home for me!

 

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Adoption: The Answers (iii)

Posted by sarah & rocksea on 29 Aug 2006 | Tagged as: adoption in india, india, life

It was time for me to be homebound. Leaving Bangalore was with mixed emotions and there was one thing I wanted to do- visit the orphanage once again, see the kids there and interact with them, and feel nice about what they are doing. I went back to Ashraya one friday afternoon. Reaching there an hour early, I was lucky to meet one of the founders of the place. We struck a good conversation and it was pretty informative for anyone who would be looking at adoption.

Mrs. Chacko was an elderly lady and I sat with her, talking. Here’ s the share….

  • Does the religion of a child or adopting parent form any basis or criteria of adoption?

No, a child has no religion when brought as an orphan. The child’s name might sound anything, but she/he can be adopted by parents of any religion and bring the child up according to their beliefs.

An interesting case she told me was that an abandoned  child named Parveen (muslim name)  was found by police who took her to a safe place where she was named Lakshmi (a hindu name). When she reached the orphanage for adoption, she was Parveen Lakshmi! Who knows if she would be sought to be adopted by Christian parents?

  • What is the Christian Wards and Guardian Act? How does it affect?

According to Mrs. Chacko, this act is not a great deal. It just states that a child adopted by hindu parents automatically becomes a natural inheritor of the parents’ property, thus making the need of writing a will in the name of the child uneccessary. In case of the parents being a non-hindu, the child is not a natural inheritor of the property as they are, by papers, mere guardians to the child. This makes the writing of a will of minimum Rs. 25000/- in the name of the adopted one important. In today’s world, this amount is just meagre. Before adoption, the adopting parents should collect the court order for adoption which will serve as the birth certificate of the child henceforth. This is enough to show that the adopted child is as normal as any other child of the parents’. However, this is taken up as a case in the court of law just to bring uniformity among the mass when it comes to adoption.

Just for information and with no offence to any religion, while christians are still fine with the present rule, the muslim community is pushing to make this rule of uniformity work. As illogical as it may seem, they have their own reason, it being that, they don’t want the muslim orphans to be adopted by parents of different religion and raised into other religious beliefs. So, the logic that I could find here, if any little, is that bringing this law of uniformity could help the muslim community to adopt more children (without the writing of a will initially) and that too of muslim birth, thus keeing the muslim population from being moved to other religions. This case is still running as the muslim minorities could not be dissapointed. 

Another piece of information from another source is that, as a guardian, the non-hindu ‘parents’  lose all legal rights over the child once she/he turns 18 years. This means that, technically, the non-hindu parents act more like a money provider for the child’s growth till she/ he is 18!!? Could that be the reason why this Act is beign challenged in the courts?

She also told me that a hindu parents can adopt only a girl child if they already have a boy and vice versa. It is different with non- hindus, who can adopt any number of girl child or boy child as they want to.

Our converstations continued into more personal lives of each other.Then, somewhere between the talks I dropped a question of adoption by foreign parents. She said that it is all fine, but the orphanage does not have direct contact with the couple, but through an agency located in that country. They  do the neccessary home visits and direct the couples to the orphanages with children on adoption.

  • Is there a rule difference for adoption by an Indan and an NRI?

No. The rules hold same. NRIs are more particular about the children they are adopting. Just that the home visits are conducted by the agencies in that country.

Through the conversation, she told me that Indan parents prefer adopting younger children or infants. Children of certain higher ages like 10-16 years are adopted by foreign nationals. Therefore, these children are taught English. More input was given to me by the teacher I met later.

I  was suddenly drifted into thoughts of how the children must be feeling about being adopted, being completely aware that they are not brought up by their own birth parents, but someone else, who, no one knows if they are doing it out of sheer sympathy or love.

  • What is the psychology of the children in the orphanage?

It all depends on how they are brought up. In the orphanage, they are amongst kinds of their own. When they move out to new homes, they are nurtured in a certain way, ways of their new parents. The parents have to treat the child as normal and equal to their own child (if they have). This means no favouritism, or no partiality in anyway. Be frank to the children about their adoption, but make sure to add that there is nothing wrong in it. Tell this to your own child too.

Often parents who adopt overdo their affection for the child. Psychologically, this is to make up for the lost years without a child or because they have to release their emotions for the possesion they got after years together. This, in turn, instead of helping the child could harm, causing mental and psychological imbalances and behavioural problems.

She informed of a baby girl who was adopted after the parents had a boy. The boy is now grown and is proud of the fact that his sister is adopted. He even goes around telling ( i would call it preaching…:D ) that if anyone needs a child, the best place to get is this orphanage!

Another case she told is of a boy being adopted who is proud of the fact that he is an adopted kid and many others like him who always say, "I am from this orphanage, I have this place to tell about, how ’bout you!?"

and then with the kids…

After a while, I thought I would break to see the kids and bidding adieu to Mrs. Chacko and a picture later, I walked myslef upstairs to a room near their classroom. They were watching ‘101 Dalmations’…it was their TV time! As I entered, the warm face of a teacher welcomed me and gestured me to sit down. The childre in that room- 12 girls- turned towards me. After I said a hi, they all chorused a hello to me. I asked them to introduce themselves one by one and they did it smartly inspite of a few shy ones.

The teacher explained that they are not put through different classrooms for study, but in one classroom irrespective of their age. The eldest among them was 12 years old and the youngest one, 6 year. Basic english and mathematics were taught, then they had games and art time. They were also taught about nature and all neccessary things needed to be known.  

When I enquired about the boys, the teacher said that there are none, ’cause all of them are adopted! My last visit also gave me glimpses of only girls aged between 1-3 years! Is it that even now parents favor the male child?

After taking a few pics and mingling with them, I followed them to their tea room across the street. I shared tea with them…feeling like I have returned to my innocence again. They were smart enough to show the dances and songs they had learnt. I then saw a room of beds next to their tea room and on enquiry came to know that it was a room for the pregnant ladies who did not want children. They are allowed to stay there until delivery and then sent away after the kids are born. It was a painful thought. After an hour alone with the girls, I said bye to them and their caretaker for the night had arrived to usher them to their room upstairs.

I walked away waving bye to them to their tiny hands and bright faces from their bedroom window. They gave me a  poster with their names written in the different colors of their dreams that they weave.

kids drawing at adoption center, bangalore, india

 

This article is a sequel to:

  1. Our assignments
  2. Adoption : The Answers (i)
  3. Adoption: The Answers (ii)

Related posts

buddha and the deer

Posted by rocksea on 12 May 2006 | Tagged as: india, japan, photography

Buddha has been the paragon of man’s coexistence with nature. It is surprising that you can catch the same coexistence in the heart of a technologically superior country, Japan. This is the country of contrasts, and the more advanced in technology Japan has become, the more firecly she is holding on to her past and her cultural relics.

Here is the first set of pictures from a recent trip to Nara and Kyoto. Nara was the first permanent capital of Japan from AD 710 to 794. The Giant Buddha or the Daibutsu, world’s largest gilded bronze Buddha was built during the Nara period in AD 752.

Buddha, after enlightment, gave his first sermon at the Sarnath deer park near Varanasi (Benaras) in northern India and set in motion the Wheel of Dharma. The  deer park in its premises of the Giant Buddha evokes this experience in your mind. The deers there are friendly and have coexisted with the inhabitants for centuries. Legend holds that god Kasuga made his long journey to Nara on a deer. The deer which lives around the Nara park have been warmly protected as servants of gods. You get deer biscuits to feed them. Some foriegners mistake it for food and eat it themselves

the-great-buddha-nara * The Giant Buddha or the Daibutsu, world's largest gilded bronze Buddha built during the Nara period (8th cent). Nara was then the first permanent capital of Japan. The buddha have been heavily repaired over time and very little remains of the original work.The position of left hand of buddha (oh! cant be seen in this picture) expresses buddha's desire to put an end to all suffering. The right hand extends his welcome to those in the world who suffer. * 1024 x 766 * (281KB)

deer-park-nara-1 * the Deer Park @ Nara, the first permanent capital of Japan * 766 x 1024 * (397KB)deer-park-nara-2 * the Deer Park @ Nara * 766 x 1024 * (371KB)

daibutsuden-the-great-buddha-hall-nara * Then the largest wooden structure in the world, Daibutsu-den or the Great Buddha Hall was originally built in the Nara period (8th Cent). The hall was twice destroyed by fire and the present building was constructed at the beginning of the 18th century. Daibutsuden is in the Todaiji Temple premises. * 1024 x 766 * (313KB)deer-park-nara-4 * the Deer Park @ Nara * 1024 x 766 * (345KB)deer-park-nara-5 * the Deer Park @ Nara * 1024 x 766 * (341KB)

deer-park-nara-3 * the Deer Park @ Nara * 1024 x 766 * (186KB)

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